The Johnsons have it all; a big house, a trust fund, beautiful cars. They only have one problem:
You.
Meet the Johnsons is a No Dice No Masters game where players take the role of a family member and their tormentors.
Meet the Johnsons is an RPG where you explore the relationships of the Perfect Family™—while simultaneously putting those very people through hell. It is a game about filthy rich people and a latent desire to see them humbled. If this sounds a bit too dark for you, think about it: have you never wished your asshole boss had to taste what it’s like to be fired? Or that loaded acquaintance that mistreats servers everywhere would have their credit card declined for once?
At the end of the day, it is a game that plays on the feeling you get from putting your Sims in doorless room and setting it on fire, except the Sims are a lot like the Roys from Succession, and no one needs to die at the end. Here, you get to decide exactly how much these well-dress douches get to suffer.
The game uses a No Dice No Masters framework, and is ideally played by 3-5 people in about 4 hours, designed as part of #ZineTopia!
The printed copy will be 52 pages in A5 size, perfect bound, full colour.
Zine mockup
To keep things simple, there will be three pledge levels:
After School Special: PDF only.
Country Club Prize: PDF and physical copy
The Head of the Table: PDF, Signed Physical copy, AND you get to name one of the Johnsons!
I have no plans for stretch goals (in the spirit of simplicity), but I do want to share that, for each backer on any level, I'll add one Community Copy on itch.io
Shipping will be charged depending on your location; these are estimates:
Canada - CAD$ 10.99 USA - CAD$ 14.99 Rest of the World - CAD$ 29.99
Our timeline is quite tight:
Zine ready (writeup and art) by March 15th
Get test copy by March 30th
Fulfillment starts on April 10th.
PDFs will be sent on the date of fulfillment.
As far as risks go, there aren't many. Though this is a one-person operation, I've printed four books in the past so I am very confident that the first draft will have the final version — the test copy is just to ensure that no gross errors have been made before sending them out to y'all.
💥 Zinetopia 2026
This project is participating in Zinetopia! A Small-format TTRPG event celebrating Zine Month running February 2–27, 2026.
📖 What is Zine Month? Zine Month is a month-long online celebration observed every February by the tabletop roleplaying game (TTRPG) community where creators share and launch new DIY zines.
🔥 Unlock the Limited Zinetopia Freebie! Receive the limited edition Zinetopia 2026 Group Zine when you back 5+ projects featuring 60+ pages from participating creators full of mini-games, sketches, activity pages, and more!
