Good afternoon, Jailbirds!

Feeling pretty decent today, and typing this up for you guys before I head back to work. There are some important updates about fulfillment and shipping today, so, if you have the time I'd appreciate you pulling up a chair for this one.

CHECK YOUR CREDIT CARDS! We still have 3 failed charges, amounting to about $300. If you bought a ton of stuff, please, go check if that's you. That's a good chunk of my freight shipping cost, right there.

If you want a specific freebie sticker, please tell me down in the comments.

Real quick. I had a regular customer take the plunge and replenish all my pinback button supplies in exchange for unlimited itabag fillers. I have some 1.25" buttons up in the store, of the freebie sticker designs. You guys seem to really like those. You should go look at these, so I can justify buying actual sneakers and stop running with my dog in composite toe boots.

There is a limited 1-sheet drop of them right now, but I'll restock them if they sell. I can toss the mugshot designs on buttons too, if you guys would like them.

Grab a single design (I KNOW you jerks like the house sparrow) or the one remaining 4-pack, if you're down!

Our sticker manufacturer is having a bit of a tussle right now. The order contains all BIRD CRIMES vinyl items (mugshots + freebie sheets), and both new sets of LITTLE SHITS. Crimes stuff will be in on time, but it means LITTLE SHITS restocks are going to be a little delayed. They are a small American company that is doing damn well for the trouble they're having.

Campaign stickers are still very much within the fulfillment deadline, but this might be disappointing if you are a regular shop buyer.

The second color sample for BIRD CRIMES' palette is in progress. I'm waiting on new photos, to confirm the colors (as another millenial has told me, the politically correct term is "greige") are all set. Once our cockatiel sample is looking good, then full pin production will start

Unfortunately, due to the schedule of sampling and pin production, it is extremely unlikely I will have BIRD CRIMES pins here and graded by late June. I can't comfortably offer Anthrocon delivery for pledge rewards.

We are still within our timeline for late summer. I should still have some stickers for people who want to buy them (pledge rewards will be counted out and set aside), but full orders will need to wait. Sorry to anyone this could disappoint, but the time sacrifice is something I needed to make to ensure everything looked good on the enamel pin side.

Custom crimes badges will still be available for pickup. Are you heading to AC? You should tell me, so I can make a note to bring your badge for you! Remember: we are having a meet on Thursday at the National Aviary, if you want to grab stuff before the main event. 

Come hang out with some birds of a feather, get some cute freebies, and support one of the coolest facilities in the country! If you're flying in Friday, that's fine, too - I'll be at G20 with Corviforms, to grab your badge at any time.

Custom crimes are still available to new buyers. Did you miss yours on the campaign? I'm offering these bad boys for $40, and they are free to print and ship to BIRD CRIMES backers. I can either include them in your campaign rewards, or I can forward them for $4 USD or bring them for free Anthrocon pickup.

It's not just birds this time around: if you have another opportunist getting in on the avian-induced chaos, or if YOU'RE a dirty dog who needs to be whacked with a newspaper, you can now get your mugshot taken.

Feel free to reach out to me either thru Twitter, my Telegram channel, or, to streamline things for real, just shoot me an email at [email protected]. 
 

We're still on the fence about combined shipping. I have to have a few more talks with Corviforms about the logistics, but it's up in the air right now.

Due to the sheer number of you guys who opted in, I'd like to make it happen. I think everyone who opted in understands it might delay your BIRD CRIMES delivery a little (since Corvi's stuff takes way longer to manufacture), so, we'll play it by ear and see what timelines look like.

If combined shipping happens, you will probably be offered a shop voucher for the amount you paid on my side of the campaign, minus what's needed for the added weight. For most US buyers, this'll be between 4 and 6 dollars. For all you jailbirds across the pond, it could be considerably more.

The plush project is happening behind the scenes. This has been a backer-only section for a bit, but, I think it's time to stop being a jerk: I am working on a project for a weighted, adjustable cockatiel plush + some other assorted cockatiel goods.

We are in the throes of manufacturer sampling currently, with a large, intricate 8" weighted plush and a 4" portable buddy in the works. The images are very early and not final enough to give the public a good idea of what they'll look like. I can throw you guys a bone, though, with some pictures... if you backed :) Yeah, I'm still blueballing the rest of you. This is for people who paid.

I am expecting to launch during Corviforms' griffin campaign, with some cross-collab goodies for all you who buy both. I'll set up a teaser page when I have a little more to show you guys.

Good evening, Jailbirds. Good to be back.

Thank you guys for tolerating the break.

Things aren't quite OK, but they're not gonna be OK until I kick my ass into gear and start making them OK. It's time to get back on the saddle and get cracking. The BIRD CRIME epidemic isn't gonna solve itself.

Freebie stickers are in. They look exactly like I thought they would. Not much to say here. You can look at them, in this cursed 1 AM photo.

There are four variants of these guys. If you want a specific one in your pledge, you can comment here or shoot me an email at [email protected] so I can note it on the packing slip.  

Custom Crimes are being finalized this week. My laminator and papercutter are locked in an eternal battle of who can fuck up the most, but, in between that, they got most stuff done with only a couple casualties.

If you have purchased a Custom Crime (either thru the campaign, or separately afterwards) and have already paid shipping for your BIRD CRIMES items, remember: you are entitled to a free print. Let me know if you would like a 5" convention-style badge, or a 3" double-sided mini.

I should have slots for more Custom Crimes available this week. They'll be announced on Twitter, or on my Telegram channel. The free physical badge offer extends to all backers.

A second production sample is being made to correct colors. The previous pin sample, as shown in the last update, is not quite doing the sepia colors I need it to. I'll show you guys first when I get the next one. Thanks for bearing with me on that.

That's all for most of you. Thanks for reading, and I hope to bring you some more stuff soon.

Hey, BIRD CRIMES flock.

Full transparency, this is a "things happened and I am not feeling jokes" kind of update. Skip to the bold text if you are here for product updates.

A few days ago, one of my birds was killed in a traumatic, avoidable accident. This is the second bird I have lost in a month because of my terrible, terrible rental company and their disdain for making my apartment worth the $1.5k they squeeze out of me.

This is one event in a string of, frankly, completely awful shit that has been happening in the past month. I implied one of these things in another update, but it's OK if you don't know what it is, because I didn't give any details. I had a bird escape a faulty window screen, and even after searching every tree in the neighborhood with a hunting dog for three weeks, there were never any signs or sightings. The hunting dog, in question, too, may be in relapse with a chronic infection, and it will be over two weeks before we know if she has permanent kidney damage that may shorten her life considerably. My over-achieving cockatiel has three different crop yeast infections, and while he's looking to be OK, the process of holding down a sweet, loving bird and having him thrash and scream and cry twice a day and be terrified of me when I come in the room is breaking my heart. 

My days off work have been spent either looking for a lost bird, taking an anxious cockatiel to a vet an hour away, or wrangling my shaking, cowering "fearless" akita into an exam room to be prodded with needles to make sure she will make it to her seventh birthday. This is my life for the past month and a half. I don't have breaks. I don't have leisure. And I love them, but it's taking its toll. My pets escaped with me from my previous situation, and they are the only family I have.

I generally cope by burying myself in work, and get record amounts of shit done, but I can't win this one. I've spent the past couple of days going to work, coming home, staring at my computer screen doing absolutely nothing and avoiding the room where it happened. I dropped the other sick idiot bird trying to give him meds yesterday, and I have had sleep and calisthenics for dinner for three nights. It's only been a few days, but I am already losing track of time and deadlines and what happened when.

I hate being sappy, but my animals genuinely are my world and the reason I do all this shit. Sorry, guys. It's not you. It's them. While I generally dislike making my issues personal for my customers, this is the straw that broke the camel's back for me, and I am at a point that my productivity is becoming your problem. 

I need to make sure more of those days don't happen, and to do that, I think I need to step back a little bit. Thank you for your patience. Nothing is stopping, but I need to slow down, and keep my nose in the actual production work and less on trying to be funny and creative when I don't have it in me.

I have emailed commission clients and one-on-one correspondences about this.

You can start reading here if you don't care about that, and just want product updates.

BIRD CRIMES' timelines will not be affected. Updates will be posted as they happen.

Thanks for reading. Stay good. Give your pets a forehead kiss for me tonight, yeah?

Good evening, Jailbirds!

I spent today biting my nails down to the beds waiting to see if one of the birds was going to be OK. It's been a weird one. That's why you're getting this at midnight. Sorry, gang.

(the bird is OK, just stupid. He's an overachiever. THREE different yeast infections in his crop. If only he could put that much effort into thinking and problem solving, huh?)

The day has come: Wednesday, May 15th is the final day to submit your BIRD CRIMES survey. What does this mean?

Backers who do not have these things complete by Wednesday will forfeit rewards. I cannot guarantee stock availability, or the bandwidth to send it out, to backers who do not do their surveys and pay on time. Barring extenuating circumstances (I have a few people who have reached out about health issues), I will not be reserving stock at BackerKit prices for people who miss deadlines.

If you missed the campaign, but want to grab some items, the PREORDER STORE will also close Wednesday. Any orders placed will ship in the same batch as backers, so you will get them before retail stock goes up for sale.
 
If you are just here for BIRD CRIMES stuff only, this is where you can stop reading. Thank you in advance for double checking your survey and credit cards, and I hope to have manufacturing updates for you soon!

Did you miss out on CUSTOM CRIMES? Do you want one? I am taking some slots at campaign prices. Email me at [email protected] to start. I can include these in your pledge with the advertised 3 and 5 inch options as well, just let me know.

Speaking of things you might need badges for, Anthrocon!

As mentioned a few times, I will be at table G20 with Corviforms. I will have limited stock, and will mostly be helping table, as well as running a couple games.

We are still waiting on deadlines to see if full order pickup is available for BIRD CRIMES backers. I have to see how long pins will take. It is something I would like to offer, but again, it is down to manufacturing times.

Even if you aren't getting stuff, come say hi! I am holding a small meet and greet Thursday morning for you early birds who aren't hung over and/or jet lagged. If you opt in to badge pickup, I'll have your stuff, plus a few con goodies ready to greet you. Drop on by the National Aviary, and come spot some birds with us - or, meet us right at the con, and spot some suspiciously larger birds. Grab some bingo cards, and have some fun!

There are store prizes for both bingo games - including vouchers for preorder stock! Plus, one lucky winner will get that huge 24 inch Walmart macaw plush that I have no room for in my house. And a few of you will get bags of seed. But that's OK.

Read below for some more meetup details, and if you're coming, let me know on Twitter!

Hi, Jailbirds! Short update today.

I have your freebie sticker designs! These 2 inch glossy paper "voter stickers" are a prize for actually doing shit on time. Good job, everyone. Congratulations. You won.

Every package will randomly include one of these criminals. These are gloss paper, not vinyl. They'll still be awesome for journals, planners, sketchbooks, and the like!

If you'd like extras, or want to pick your sticker, extra stock will go in the HUSTLE shop later.

All Custom Crimes who have both paid in full, and given me correct information, have received sketches to approve. If you have not done either of these things, do it immediately. 

I'm debating how to handle no-shows or ghosts who don't respond by the 20th, but the options are not looking good for you. I have one person I am waiting on information from, and if you do not get back to me by that date, I unfortunately have to call your badge off.

If you have any level of artwork done, please reach out to me with your print option and details. Remember, you get a free laminated badge of your Custom Crime!

I am still holding my breath on Anthrocon pickup, but it is looking less likely. BIRD CRIMES pins may not be ready in time for backers to grab at AC. However, backers who have CUSTOM CRIMES will still have the option to pick these up at the event!

I'll have some more information on a Thursday morning meet-and-greet shortly. We have almost all the details finalized, except a nice poster with information. Expect that soon.

Thanks for reading, Jailbirds!

Good evening, Jailbirds! If you are in the Millet Fund tier, please read this. Otherwise, go on with your night!

If you are in the Millet Fund tier, and purchased addons, please check your email immediately.

Due to a BackerKit oversight, you were considered a "digital" tier, and have not been correctly sent a survey. This means your addon selections, and address, would not be collected.

You have manually been sent a survey to finish.

Due to this, I have extended survey dates by two days. All backers will now have until May 17 to complete surveys, and fix credit cards on file.

I apologize for any inconvenience, and if you have any further questions, feel free to reach out.

Cheeky mascot bird says: we still have 8 un-charged backers, and 15 people who haven't filled out surveys! That means there are 7 of you who paid, but haven't told me what you want yet! Is that you?

If this is not corrected by midnight, you will forfeit rewards. I will not be offering BackerKit priced BIRD CRIMES products to failed backers: this is your last chance!

The PREORDER STORE will also be closing after tonight. If you haven't backed yet, this is your only chance to get BIRD CRIMES at BackerKit prices, and your last chance, overall, before they go up for retail sale.

This is also the only way to preorder LITTLE SHITS series BIRDS 2 and MAMMALS. There are some heavy-hitters in this set: if you would like woodpeckers, hyacinth macaws, hornbills, kestrels, emus, kookaburras, or most owl species, this is for you!

The first time these will be available retail is at ANTHROCON, in person! 

If you want yours before July, and don't want to brave the squeaker-infested Dealer's Den (and don't want to have to look upon my physical form), you should hop over to the Preorder Store now.

Remember, you can mix and match LITTLE SHITS sets in the 5 and 10 packs!

That's all for now! Thank you for reading, Jailbirds. Stay good!

Good evening, jailbirds!

Again, not too much to report. This past week has been a little bit of a mess for my personal life, but, you aren't here for that.

Surveys close in FIVE DAYS! Credit cards will be charged for addons then, too. We have an awesome 91% completion rate on surveys right now, and I'd love to get that higher. You'll get some reminders from Backerkit as that deadline gets closer, but here's one from me, right now. Remember, if you do NOT fill out your survey by then, you are forfeitting your backer rewards.

The preorder store will also close in FIVE DAYS. If you missed out on the BIRD CRIMES campaign, this is the only way to get any items at campaign prices. There'll be retail stock up, but they will be full price ($1-2 higher).

Freebie stickers still need to be designed. It'll happen. I promise. I'm just running on fumes right now. Come on, these are free, at least give me [looks at poll] three weeks? Jesus. Ok. I'll do them this weekend. 

We're waiting on the pin sample. It shouldn't be much longer, and you guys will be the first to see it.

Custom Crimes artworks continue. As of now, we have three backers who have not gotten a sketch yet. I aim to fix this tonight. I have the whole weekend off (I usually work Friday and Saturday nights), so I want to take advantage of a day off tomorrow and make sure all Custom Crimes are in good shape. 

My usual HUSTLE work hours are from about 3:30 PM to 11 PM EST, but please be ready to get emails about your campaign pledges and Custom Crimes as late as 2:30 AM EST tonight.

If you do have artwork or a sketch, please let me know which physical option you are interested in! These are free with your Custom Crime.

Thanks for reading, sorry this one's boring and sucks. That is truly all there is to this update, surely there is no fun, secret, information for backers.

Good afternoon, jailbirds!

Quick boring update today: not much happening, sadly. We're in the slow part of the campaign, just waiting for things to happen. Sticker order numbers are locked in, and we're waiting on pin color samples.

Things are going to be a little weird on my end, with my "full" Monday work day lost to some family things. CUSTOM CRIME sketches will get done Sunday and Tuesday afternoon. And shit, I still owe you guys those freebie sticker designs. Sorry about that.

This is more a reminder to check your status!

Did you back BIRD CRIMES? Check your email and get your survey done! The normal survey deadline is May 15th (5/15). After that, you risk not having items available, or if you're really late, forfeitting your pledge rewards. We're sitting at a comfy 82% completion right now, which means all backers have earned a freebie voter sticker!

Did you buy the UK PLACEHOLDER TIER? We're still missing a few of you! Check your email inboxes (including spam and junk) for an email from [email protected]. You'll need to fill out your alternate form before May 15th, but I'll tolerate it until May 20th. Remember, this is the only way UK buyers will be able to get BIRD CRIMES items.

Are you following the project, but missed out on backing BIRD CRIMES? The PREORDER STORE is open until May 15th to get stuff, still! Your purchased items will be shipped at the same time as campaign backers. This is also the only way to get the new, upcoming LITTLE SHITS sets, so give it a look!

Did you buy a CUSTOM CRIME? CUSTOM CRIMES were an option for backers to purchase their very own BIRD CRIME. I am getting these done this coming week. There is one backer with a CUSTOM CRIME who hasn't filled their survey out yet. Not only will you be at the bottom of the queue, you are risking forfeiting your badge if you don't get your deets in by May 15th!

Did you buy a CUSTOM CRIME and fill out your survey? Did you maybe even get your sketch, or full artwork already? I am offering physical badge versions for free to you! If you've got any amount of work done, or know you submitted details, make sure you follow up with me! These will either ship with your other rewards, or be ripe and ready to go at Anthrocon!

Let me know which of these options you'd like, and how you'd like them, in a follow-up email. Again, they are FREE if you already backed for the CUSTOM CRIMES tier!

If you've already done your part, then, sorry you read all that. Get well soon.

I'll see you guys soon, probably with some pictures of our guinea pig badges, the 80% backing free stickers, or the cockatiel color sample. I wonder which is going to be ready first?

Good evening, jailbirds!

First off, I owe you guys an apology. The sticker giveaway link was busted last update. Grab it here. Enter on Twitter for a chance to win some free KEN'S PIN HUSTLE vinyls. I'll cover shipping if you're in America, too, so it's actually, truly free! Ends May 20th. Get that shit.

This is your reminder, too, that the PREORDER STORE is open. CRIMES stuff will not be sold retail for quite a bit, and if you missed out, grab 'em now to get 'em when backers do! It's currently the only way to secure LITTLE SHITS from the BIRDS 2 and MAMMALS sets. Otherwise they'll only be on the HUSTLE in early summer.

Second, come suffer thru some production updates! I promise, there's fun stuff after this.

But, the color test sample is still in production, and expected soon-ish. BIRD CRIMES' stickers, and the order containing them, will probably be placed this week.

I am waiting for 80% survey completion to make final count estimates. We are currently at 78%! Get your shit in, if it's done by May 3rd I'll give you jerks another free thing, on my dime. You guys voted for the house sparrow option, but honestly, I think I'm just gonna do them all and do it gacha-style unless you request something special. The vote was so close, it's barely fair.

I am neck deep in getting the CUSTOM CRIMES done. You guys might have gotten sketches, or even final artwork for these already! They're a ton of fun, and I'm glad I made them an option. I get to stare at you guy's cute birds all day. 

I figure it's worth mentioning, the dissonance between my character clients and my bird owners: furries seem to like goofy fun antics like shotgunning energy drinks, while everyone who's sent me a pet bird has TRAUMA. You guys are dumping some war stories in that pledge survey and I'm here for it. Good lord.

In a stroke of overtired genius today, I realized that a lamination machine costs about as much as I'm charging you suckers for those things.

To make sure everyone is getting their money's worth, but, honestly, mostly to reduce the workload on Corviforms, I decided to just go buy one of the stupid things. It'll be here in a few days, and ready for its maiden voyage laminating LITTLE SHITS diagrams for my in-person buyers.

Physical badges will now be available at no additional charge to CUSTOM CRIMES backers. You have two options: 3-inch tiny badges and 5-inch con badges!

These are completely free to people who have bought CUSTOM CRIMES. However, if you're one of those tech people, I'll toss an NFC tag impregnated with whatever data you need in for $3. Yes, that is the actual term. I hate it too.

When you get the email for your sketch, please let me know if you're interested in either of these options. If you already have artwork, just shoot me another email with what you'd like, and the info you want on it! These will ship with BIRD CRIMES rewards unless requested otherwise.

You can still ask to pick them up at Anthrocon 2024, too! I'll be holding a meetup at the National Aviary the Thursday before the main event, for badge pickups, free bird goodies, and a super-serious game of BIRD BINGO. Grab your badge, grab some freebies, and come support one of the coolest things in Pittsburgh!

Otherwise, I'll be at Dealer's Table G20 with my Pintopia collab partner, Corviforms, scaring kids in raptor masks with my resting bitch face. I've had a bunch of people tell me that I look like this guy from The Bear. Come say hi and see if that's true. I still don't know if that's a good thing.

The jury is still out on full-order pickup at AC. I will have to see what timelines look like, but the minute it looks feasible, you guys will be the first to know. If it happens, I'll pack 'em up real nice for you guys, with a few special con-only freebies ;)

That's all for today, thanks for tolerating the big update. Take it easy tomorrow!

Good afternoon, Jailbirds!

It's a terrible, rainy, awful Sunday here. "I'm going to go get daylight pics of the new stickers," says Ken, forgetting he lives in Lake Country NY, and that we had a nice day yesterday and now have to suffer. Hope you felons are faring better.

As of about 5 minutes ago, all surveys have been sent to backers.

Rapidfire info for backers:

We are still missing several UK backers. If you haven't gotten the google form survey in your email yet, please double check - this is the ONLY WAY you will be able to get any rewards from BIRD CRIMES.

I updated the HUSTLE (main store) shipping and return policy last night. I am following these guidelines for shipping BIRD CRIMES, from this point forward. I strongly recommend reading this.

Did you miss out on BIRD CRIMES? No problem! Check out the PREORDER STORE! You can pick up (most) campaign items here. They will be shipped with all other pledges. Remember: the seagull and kakapo designs have been unlocked for both pins and 2" mugshot stickers.

This, as well as pledges to the main campaign, are currently the only ways to get LITTLE SHITS stickers from the "BIRDS 2" and "MAMMALS THAT AREN'T DOGS" sets. They will not be stocked in the HUSTLE until summer. If you want some of these guys for the upcoming convention season, give campaign addons or the preorder store a look.

Speaking of stickers, I just got a ton of them in yesterday. Due to multiple, overlapping, insane circumstances, I am overstocked on nearly every design. Out of the goodness of my heart (or, free advertising, same shit, whatever), I'm giving away three packs of them!

Click the image above, make your way to my twitter, and enter for your chance to win some free birds (or dogs, if you're weird.) 

That's all for now. Enjoy your weekend, and take it easy!

hi gang quick update

28th is not a monday, it's tomorrow

remember, this is a good chance to fix your credit cards if they failed

i'm tired. see you then. 

Good evening, jailbirds!

Short update, just a cool thing for all you who actually care about production. Skip this part if you aren't a nerd.

To make sure all the finicky warm grays in the set will look right, I'm having my factory do a test bird.

Enamel pins are hand-filled with heat treated, colored fills, and those colors basically use the same system as house paint. You know, when you go to Lowe's and they put a certain number of drops into the white paint bucket, to color the whole thing. Every color has a code, which decides how many drops of every pigment goes in, and they can be messy. This is called the Pantone system, it is widely used and widely hated by artists since the pulled their proprietary shit out of Photoshop last year. Think the Vantablack situation, except with actual repercussions beyond stupid internet drama. But everyone still uses it, so we have to, too.

Skin tones, yellows, purples, and grays are famously the worst Pantones to get down. You can only get so close to digital RBG and CYMK colors with the Pantones that exist, and screens don't always show them correctly. Some factories will allow you to add a certain % of white to lighten and mute colors, like mine, but some of them also have a stick up their ass and would rather make your Disney princess highlighter yellow.

If you have a lot of colors like that, it pays to do samples. Unfortunately for me, BIRD CRIMES is literally only grays. My case is just a color test, so I'm not paying extra for another metal mold, or for things to be sent to me to inspect - I just need to make sure things look correct all together, in a few different lights.

The cockatiel is the guinea pig here - if he turns out good, the rest of the pins will go into production. We're super under budget, and way ahead of schedule, so it's a pretty obvious choice to ensure things look right.

I'll share pictures of Mr. Cockatiel here as soon as I get photos of his mugshot. I look forward to it. I hope you do, too!