Good afternoon, criminals!

I have to run to close this evening. We have about 72 hours left in the CRITTER CRIMES campaign. We've been doing really great, and there's not much else to unlock. Let's hit all the necessary points for this update...

In an unfortunate mirror of recent events, almost half of our backers didn't actually vote on the backer-choice pin they earned. Terrible. Did my Americans not learn their lesson? You guys have to vote for something. I know all the candidates are criminals, but, at least use your damn privileges.

Whatever the turnout ended up being, our Orca pin won by a decent margin. The runner-up was the amateur electrician squirrel, followed by the moose. Oh well. Voter issues or not, at least the criminal that won is taking direct action against billionaires and the climate crisis. I wish our shoe-in Democrats actually did that, instead of just having affairs and turning their back on minorities.

I won't be making most of these pins this time around, but I, honestly, might throw the squirrel people a bone. We're on a decent budget surplus right now. How do you guys feel? Would you be interested in buying the Squirrel pin or sticker? Let me know below.

Speaking of budget surplus, I'm adding a hyena. I don't care that nobody voted for it, it's going to sell at furry cons, and I want money. I'll post sketches with tomorrow's 48 hour update.

Have you backed for a PRIDE PARROT yet? I might abuse your funds, but, at least I'm giving some of them to a good cause this time. $2 from each pin will go to GMHC this year.

I'm about to head to work, but, let's go over a few quick reminders about the post-campaign phase.

That being said, I am still struggling dealing with the UK VAT office on BIRD CRIMES. This was brought up on bsky last week, and I have been a little too busy dealing with my dog trying to kill herself to get a thorough writeup set for those backers.

If you are still missing UK rewards from that campaign, expect a thorough update and instructions some time this weekend or early next week. You are on my list, but, considering how long it's been without a resolution, you are sadly not my top priority right now.

Peace. Take it easy this weekend, everyone. If you're a local, enjoy this weather while it lasts - take what you can get.

Good evening, criminals!

You guys getting some nice weather where you're at? We hit the mid 50s today. It's a shame I can't go outside.

Based on our budget surplus, and backer comments, I've added two more pins to the campaign to bring in some more backers in the last couple days.

The Power grid sabotage Squirrel might have lost the vote, but, he won a spot in my heart (and profitable pin order). He's joined by the Indecent exposure Hyena.

The squirrel was our second-place in the 10k backer vote. Due to a low voter turnout, and, frankly, the fact I think the squirrel is funny, I'm adding him anyway.

Backers never got the chance to vote on the hyena, and I am happy to pay for her (semi) out of pocket because she'll sell well in in-person retail. But, if you want to snag her before I make my way to a convention near you, she'll be an option in the surveys.

In some more good news, our wrap-up giveaway hit a milestone: with 250 backers, our winners' prizes have been upgraded! When the time comes, on 3/12, three lucky fucks will now receive:

If you guys get my bsky account to 1.5k followers by the 12th, I'll pick one more winner for each prize tier. WE're about 600 short, but, if you guys really put in the work, maybe we can do it! You can follow that account, and enter the giveaway, here.

I'm going to go grab dinner and a shower, but I'll be spending the evening getting the pledge manager set up. 

Cheers, guys, enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Good afternoon, criminals!

I hope you're having a good weekend. This is the end for most of you, but working in my field, it's the start for me. Weekends aren't restful, though, since there's a lot to do at the HUSTLE.

First off: a bunch of stuff in the actual HUSTLE shop is on sale. With two huge projects full of stock on the way, I'd like to clear some storage out. Stickers and sheets are up to 40% off, LITTLE SHITS 1" stickers are on regular order again (no mystery pack guessing!), and BIRD CRIMES mugshots are restocked. Neat!

Check it out if you're interested. At this point, I can hold things off to combine with a GOLDEN AGE PARROTS pledge.

Advertising over, let's get back to CRITTER CRIMES. We have final artwork for all 3 sponsor pins, so, we'll call them official! Who's your favorite? I like them all, but I think the skunk is probably gonna do it for me.

We have 9 days left with nothing really new to unlock, so, I've been doing some research into additional addons for the CRIMES designs. I'm still looking at print manufacturers to do a compilation print/poster of every animal between both campaigns, but I did have one immediate find: washi tape is cheaper than I thought.

The rectangular form factor of CRIMES pins makes them really great for that stamp-style washi tape that delusional k-pop fans enjoy, and with about 5 minutes of Googling I found a manufacturer willing to make it for a reasonable unit cost. So, we're adding washi tape! Stamp washi tape is available to all backers - both BIRDS and CRITTERS styles! Go check 'em out.

I'm still searching for an economical way to do little tabletop framed prints and keep them under $10 each, as well as a bigger poster like I said up there. I'll keep you guys posted.

Speaking of "10s," it's about time: I have sketches, and final options, for the $10k backer vote.

I picked 6 of the critter suggestions that I think would translate best to the CRIMES style, assigned them crimes (some based on suggestions, some tweaked a little), and they're here and ready to fight for your vote.

Between Orca, Moose, Kangaroo, Beaver, Feral Pig and Squirrel... who do YOU think should win?

You MUST be an active backer to vote in the poll. If you're not, and nothing on the table so far interests you, remember: we have the $1 TAXPAYER FUNDS tier which grants you access. If you end up wanting the winning pin - or anything else - you can switch to a pin tier any time before the campaign closes.

Voting closes on March 7th. Make sure to do your civic duty, and pick your favorite little pest!

Just so everyone knows, I will be running a giveaway at 1 week left for every damn thing in the campaign. So, all pins, all mugshots, one of each washi tape, and one sticker sheet. Keep an eye out for that both here and on BlueSky... it's gonna be an adventure.

Take it easy this lazy Sunday, and thanks for backing CRITTER CRIMES!

Good afternoon, criminals!

Jesus Christ, are we funded. We sure are funded, almost three times over, by 2 PM. Good lord.

At this time, our $2k base pins (Raccoon, Deer, Cat), as well as a whole damn load of stretch goals (Opossum, Fox and Bat) are covered. Good job, you freaks.

Freebie pins are, also, obviously unlocked. If you're a repeat offender, that Barn Owl is yours. And, if you're getting 5 or more 1.5" CRIMES pins, you got a Sparkledog with your name on it.

That's not all... our CREATE A CRIMINAL sponsor tiers went before I could even vet them.

Luckily, the price point means everyone who got them is either a beloved KEN'S PIN HUSTLE regular, or one of my long-time friends who DM'd me on discord for the first time in so long I didn't even recognize him.

This means there's gonna be three new CRITTER CRIMES pin options for you to pick from. What are they? Well, I know two of them, and they make me ugly laugh under my breath at how dumb they are (in a good way.) The last one: we're going to find out together, because while it's from a regular, the fact he grabbed the tier was a bit of a curveball.

He's got good taste, don't worry. But, we don't know what that taste is gonna be.

We will all, collectively, know what these three new little monsters are later this week. While their creators are getting 10 of their new pin, these mysterious felons WILL be available to all backers during surveys!

All PRIDE PARROTS designs are also available, with the $2k goal covered! Remember: I toss $2 from each of these little guys to Gay Men's Health Crisis.

I'm gonna be real with you guys, I am beat from a terrible week and I need to go lie down. I feel like I got hit by a truck. Was it the emergency vet visit, the GOLDEN AGE PARROTS crunch, or the two days of Arby's potato cake hedonism in a row? Who knows. Could be all of them. Could be none. So, this may be the last time you hear from me tonight.

I don't want to leave you hanging, so let's go over what's up next.

At the time of writing, we're about $25 away from our Brown Rat. He's the closest goal, followed by the free sticker sheet for all backers.

After that, comes the Coyote...

...and two more critters I have to do pin artwork for. I know what they are (and you can speculate, too!) but they don't have vectors quite ready to show the masses.

After that, we have a $10k backer vote.

I'll throw you guys a bone: I can't come up with any more funny animals. That's why I make you pay me, to give me YOUR ideas. But, say it's been a bad year financially - not like that happened, to anyone, in 2024, right? Maybe you don't have $250 to throw at me.

Well, we're gonna have some fun with that. I'm going to take backer suggestions for any stupid animal and crime on the planet, shamelessly steal the best ones, and make you guys vote on them in a death match.

The winning critter is our $10k pin.

Anyways, at the rate we're going, we should start brainstorming now. Drop your ideas in the comments. Real, wild animals, or invasive animals, only.

What CRITTER do you want to see the most?