Jesus Christ, are we funded. We sure are funded, almost three times over, by 2 PM. Good lord.
At this time, our $2k base pins (Raccoon, Deer, Cat), as well as a whole damn load of stretch goals (Opossum, Fox and Bat) are covered. Good job, you freaks.
Freebie pins are, also, obviously unlocked. If you're a repeat offender, that Barn Owl is yours. And, if you're getting 5 or more 1.5" CRIMES pins, you got a Sparkledog with your name on it.
That's not all... our CREATE A CRIMINAL sponsor tiers went before I could even vet them.
Luckily, the price point means everyone who got them is either a beloved KEN'S PIN HUSTLE regular, or one of my long-time friends who DM'd me on discord for the first time in so long I didn't even recognize him.
This means there's gonna be three new CRITTER CRIMES pin options for you to pick from. What are they? Well, I know two of them, and they make me ugly laugh under my breath at how dumb they are (in a good way.) The last one: we're going to find out together, because while it's from a regular, the fact he grabbed the tier was a bit of a curveball.
He's got good taste, don't worry. But, we don't know what that taste is gonna be.
We will all, collectively, know what these three new little monsters are later this week. While their creators are getting 10 of their new pin, these mysterious felons WILL be available to all backers during surveys!
All PRIDE PARROTS designs are also available, with the $2k goal covered! Remember: I toss $2 from each of these little guys to Gay Men's Health Crisis.
I'm gonna be real with you guys, I am beat from a terrible week and I need to go lie down. I feel like I got hit by a truck. Was it the emergency vet visit, the GOLDEN AGE PARROTS crunch, or the two days of Arby's potato cake hedonism in a row? Who knows. Could be all of them. Could be none. So, this may be the last time you hear from me tonight.
I don't want to leave you hanging, so let's go over what's up next.
At the time of writing, we're about $25 away from our Brown Rat. He's the closest goal, followed by the free sticker sheet for all backers.
After that, comes the Coyote...
...and two more critters I have to do pin artwork for. I know what they are (and you can speculate, too!) but they don't have vectors quite ready to show the masses.
After that, we have a $10k backer vote.
I'll throw you guys a bone: I can't come up with any more funny animals. That's why I make you pay me, to give me YOUR ideas. But, say it's been a bad year financially - not like that happened, to anyone, in 2024, right? Maybe you don't have $250 to throw at me.
Well, we're gonna have some fun with that. I'm going to take backer suggestions for any stupid animal and crime on the planet, shamelessly steal the best ones, and make you guys vote on them in a death match.
The winning critter is our $10k pin.
Anyways, at the rate we're going, we should start brainstorming now. Drop your ideas in the comments. Real, wild animals, or invasive animals, only.
