I've made it a year, today.

I'm not entirely sure how. I'm not great, mentally/emotionally, but I'm stable existentially. Part of me thinks I'll be fine, I made it through the first year, which should be the hardest. Part of me has no idea HOW I made it, and doesn't think I can do this. I know instinctively that I can, and will, because I don't know how to do anything else EXCEPT survive, and I kind of hate that. I hate that I get to keep surviving but not truly living. No donations or projects can make that different, either. It's just how it is.

I AM finishing this, and I'll print and ship it with my own money as I can. This year has wiped me out financially on several occasions, and I'm not asking for more from you to give you the thing you already paid to get. I wish I didn't have to use the funds to survive, but I had no other choice. My problem, my responsibility. It may take awhile, but you'll get it. I will also never ask you to back another project again. I'm so very sorry.

I love you, Sylv, and I still miss you so fucking much.